Enfield-weekly-opinion

I decided to break from the originally scheduled family quartet. In honor of Remembrance Day, I was eager to feature my only Mom veteran. I haven’t met all veterans, but Jen might be the cutest veteran out there.

When I first met Jen I was surprised to learn she had grown kids, let alone was a retired military veteran. She has the look, and the spirit, of feisty teen, with the inner strength of a warrior!

Jen is a relatively private person a lady of few words, or many, depending on the topic. I appreciate her seeking out her best parenting tips and I know she wouldn’t give them to just anyone. Luckily, her love for me compelled her to hand-over the goods!

Jen, “It’s no use crying over the spilt milk, they are only going to do it again tomorrow.” Tip 6

I like so many of Jen’s tips, and wish I had them earlier on my parenting journey. In reading her entry I was reminded, I was too hard on myself, so hard, yet feeling not hard enough. I did not realize each day was a new. I did not take time for me. I wished we did more outdoors. As you know by now, I basically rushed through the process.

Luckily, therapy helped minimized the damage in a lot of ways and provided me some basic parenting principles. I’m forever grateful I engaged in counselling, and that I found a highly skilled clinician!

I remember my therapist, Barb, bringing up the “don’t cry over spilt milk” analogy, as Jen highlighted in her 2nd tip. Barb was attempting to help me with forgiveness, likely for a most recent tirade.

As I was a single mom, Barb was quick to highlight the added pressures on a single Mom living in poverty. She said, “How you react to “spilt milk” may depend on how much milk you have left.”

She also added, reactions may be compounded by not having access to another carton of milk. She said, reactions may depend on how many children are relying on that milk, the availability of additional milk, the options for other meals when cereal is not happening, and the reaction of others when the milk is split. Then, of course, there’s “Moms” general overall well-being, which is to be heavily weighed.

I vividly remember that discussion. I felt such relief, and understanding. It sure helped/s to talk it out.

From that day, one of my life goals has been to be able to purchase milk when I needed milk. To this day, when I’m reaching to find gratitude, I appreciate my ability to by milk. I’m happy to say I no longer cry over spilt milk.

Thank you for your service Jen!

Next week, we’ll be continuing with a family quartet when Sherrylee’s sister Patsy highlights setting an example.